Ok, so this is a little personal, more personal than I like to get, but I guess I just need to get it out...
So, I had my laperoscopy back in Nov, and things haven't been much better. About 3 weeks ago, I had an emergency dnc, which also didn't help much, so I had to spend a weekend on bedrest (a weekend that I was supposed to be working w/ the charity I work w/, The Gifted Wedding). I went in to my wonderful Dr. the following Monday and was given a very big shot in the "hip" that would put me in to a mock menopause.
I am now 3o y/o w/ 3 children and experiencing daily hot flashes, massive mood swings, and arthritis in my hips. I have decided that I am not going to continue w/ these shots for the sake of myself and those close to me.
I was going to try to go in and try one more option, but nature struck last weekend while packing food for the homeless at STL food bank and now that is no longer an option. I will be going into my Dr. on Thurs for a full fertility work up to find out what the chances are of me having more children, and if they are low, I will have a partial hysterectomy this summer.
I am all over the place about this decision. There are many times that I am thrilled! I can't imagine one more day of the pain and exhaustion that my "friend" has caused me all these years, but I also can't imagine never being pregnant again. I am not ready to get rid of baby clothes, I always think of baby names, and when I see a baby, I just melt.
I know that I am EXTREMELY lucky to have been blessed with 3 beautiful and healthy boys. Most women in my situation are no where near as lucky. I do not take my good fortune for granite at all, but just do not know if this is a chapter I am ready to close in my life at 30...
